Facebook has a funny way of inspiring topics for me to write about. This morning as I was browsing posts on my timeline I came across this:
After reading it I pondered on it for a few minutes but then went on about my morning preparing for work.
As I drove to Indiana for work that pesky post crossed my mind again. I got to thinking. Why do people willingly accept toxic relationships to receive love?
Fighting For An Empty Reward
In recent years, I see that more women subscribe to the idea that enduring the worst from and with a man that once, and only if, he decides to marry her that it was all worth it. This entire notion sounds like a textbook sign of insanity in my personal opinion. Surviving someone for the reward of marriage. Surviving someone for the reward of a disingenuous love. Nah, I’m straight on all of dat! We see it every day. Celebrities by the dozens keep blog sites busy with the hottest cheating scandal of the week.
Every day we see a constant cycle of celebs surviving toxic relationships for what many speculate is to maintain “a look”. You know how the story goes. The guy cheats on unsuspecting gf/wife for the ten-thousandth time. She posts subliminal shit about him on her stories but if the cheating was really messy she may even go live on IG. If she pissed off to new levels of pissedtivity then she probably will wipe her social platforms clean of any sign of him and she will unfollow him. You know it’s serious when the unfollow situation explodes.
He then goes on a 2 city apology tour (wait to go for effort lol). He will buy a bag, car, and some shoes. The next thing you know before Q2 ends they back together and back in the saddle for the same ol’ same ol’. To God be the glory for those who stick through it but I worry for how women of my generation are choosing to survive the pisspoor treatment of their lovers in hopes of marriage being deemed as the ultimate reward.
What Cost Are You Willing To Pay For His Growth Phase?
Last week while on holiday I watched Kevin Hart’s documentary. I was so saddened to see his wife crying real tears while expressing that his inability to not cheat on her earlier in their marriage and the pain it caused her had somehow been worth it. She said that it was worth it because it made him a better man. My question to her is this, but how have his actions made you better?
Cheating is not ok! Being lied to, disrespected, taken for granted, or any other form of it is not ok. So often people get locked onto the number of years they have with their lover like a locked jaw of a pitbull.
My personal creed for all relationships, especially my romantic relationships has been this: Quality > Quantity. I couldn’t give two shits about how long I have known someone or loved them if I have been miserable the majority of the time. As women, we have to embrace the power that we possess. A man who truly values you, hell and I lol, will not require that we must endure his carelessness with our hearts and minds.
You’re reading this and probably thinking, “Well damn, Lita! N*ggas make mistakes.” Mmm. Well, serial cheating is not a mistake. That is a calculated choice made consistently with no regard for how it can affect those who it would hurt the most.
Ever want to trip up a serial cheater in their script of excuses? Ask them this question: If someone treated your baby girl the way you treat the woman in your life, would you be ok with it? Hopefully, you get an honest response of “No.” Sis, if you get anything other than a no, you have a narcissist on your hands and you need to bend the block on buddy QUICK!
As my mother tells me often, “Nolita, remember to be kind to yourself.” This piece is not me judging anyone or the relationships of celebrities. I am writing this to encourage people, especially any woman reading this, to remember to be kind to yourself. A major way of being kind to yourself is having the ability to protect yourself even when it may hurt. Protect your mind and heart from the effects of what someone else’s carelessness may have on you.
Written By: TheMonaLita
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