I got GOT y’all! A scammer got me. ME! Can you believe it? Me, a woman born and raised in the westside of Chicago was scammed. Dating in today’s world comes with the cheaters, undercover brothers and male thots who believe that they can slither their way through a group of friends being undetected but thats to be expected in 2017. At this point with all of the weird and whack stunts men have pulled with me I am convinced God wants me to one day write a New York Times Best Seller about what I can only describe as “dating fuckery“!

Here’s a little backstory for you. Last year I began dating a guy long distance and that relationship ended suddenly a few months ago. Cool, shit happens. I shook that breakup off and said, “Hey, I need to get myself back out there into the dating game!” To be honest the breakup gave me some things to think about. I gave myself the standard pep talk that I will not allow the foolery that some millennial men bring to the table these days to make me bitter and closed off. You know the typical textbook shit that women have to tell themselves to not end up with a permanent wardrobe of orange jumpsuits.

Now onto this new age scammer. My career requires me to travel at times and an acquittance from college asked me to go on a date while I would be in NYC. It had been years since I had visited The Big Apple and had been awhile since I went on a first date. On the surface level we had a few things in common. We both graduated from Southern University A&M College. We are both members of greek letter organizations. We both know a lot of the same people. Our careers were somewhat similar with working in creative fields. So it wouldn’t be a lie to say that I was excited for the date and to no avail the date went really well. It went so well that we went on another date the following night too! While on the date chemistry and conversation was on point. Leaving NYC, I was sure that he would call and he definitely did.

Once I returned our conversations continued. Texting daily. Facetiming daily. You know the standard forms of communication in the dating game. However, I did begin to notice after about a week that he never FaceTimed me while inside his apartment. He would never call me back after getting off of the elevator after he would enter his building. I also noticed that he would typically be in route somewhere when we would catch up. So I was paying attention to these patterns and taking mental notes. It was still new so I didn’t feel comfortable coming at this man’s neck about his minor inconsistencies. When I asked one of my besties about it she said, “He may not have a girlfriend but maybe a regular chick that’s around, ya know? Just pay attention!” I took her words to heart and kept my eyes peeled like a banana.

It was a warm Friday afternoon when I got a phone call from him before walking into a nail appointment. The conversation was going as it normally would. He would briefly ask me what I was doing, how my day was going, and then would go into talking about himself. During the conversation he says, “Gorgeous, I need you to do a favor for me.” I had no clue of what it would or could be.

I responded by asking, “Ok, sure. What is it?” He QUICKLY says, “I need you to Venmo me some money. About $100. No, actually $150!”

Naturally, I asked him why and what was it for. He provided me with a detailed answer, “Oh, I’m out at this meeting and I don’t have the right card on me. I will give it back to you tomorrow.”

Now I know that right now you are probably screaming, “Lita…NOOOOO!” at your phone or laptop screens but hear me out as to why I agreed to help him out. In my mind when he asked me for the bread I instantly went back to one of the two conversations my recent ex and I had as he broke up with me. My ex in so many words expressed that I wasn’t open with discussing my funds and that I didn’t contribute financially to the relationship. So in this moment when I was being asked to lend money it was a genuine gesture to help someone out. To show my ability to be open.

After transferring the money via Venmo he promised to return the funds the following day. Saturday comes and no money. Monday comes, still no money. Now mind you we are still in communication damn near every day and every single day there is an excuse as to why he had yet to run me my money back! At this point I hadn’t dropped this hot bubbling tea in either of my bestie’s or my mother’s teacups. In the midst of him giving me the run around about the bread, he was now supposedly planning a trip to come to Chicago for us to see one another. Just like the money he never shows up on the day he said he would. Each day it’s, “Oh I had meetings but I changed my ticket.” but at that point I honestly just wanted him to return my money.

I sent him a “request for funds” on Venmo and Chase QuickPay. He ignored those with such ease and finesse. Each time he would say, “I did the bank transfer on Monday. You telling me you didn’t get it? Ok hold on.” and then I wouldn’t hear from him for the rest of the day. Once that happened I came to the conclusion that I had been scammed. The amount of money I lent didn’t disrupt my life or the flow of my funds but my irritation was more so that someone had taken advantage of my kindness.

Scamming someone that you don’t know would make sense to me but we know one another and we know so many of the same people. He was bold as shit, right? I was so taken aback by him scamming me out of a petty $150 because I had no clue that this is what men are doing out here in the dating game. He went down lying to the VERY end y’all. I called him, no answer. I texted him and the blue bubble until this day doesn’t say “delivered”, so we all know that this means that this man has blocked me from calling him and texting him. The scammer blocked me!

Now because we live in a day in age of receipts here are a few. While I was making my last attempt for him to not live up to what is the clear fact that he is a new age scammer he was exposing himself all at the same time. As I was on Instagram dm’ing him to call me and he is lying about him getting a new phone at the moment, my bestie is texting him to see if his phone was working. She gets a response and I didn’t.

He continued to go on and on about why he never showed up here in Chicago and  how he could send me my funds via MoneyGram. Now one thing I do know about scammers is that MoneyGram is the Mecca for their money games and that really put the nail in the coffin for me.

To be totally transparent, I was upset with myself for a hot second because I allowed my ex’s words to affect how I normally handle myself when it relates to men and money. Anyone who knows me knows me that I typically do NOT finance nothing, nathaniel, nada for grown ass men. I was raised by a group of men who would never be comfortable asking a woman for money, let alone borrow with the intent to never pay it back. Out of curiosity I did a brief poll on Twitter. There is some solace that can be found in the fact that there are a men who still hold onto their pride and wouldn’t borrow from a woman.

Like everything in life, this is just another lesson learned for me. Now I know that keeping my pocketbook tucked close was the way to go and I can kick the haunting critical voice of my ex to the curb. It’s funny that while brunching in NYC with my cousin Brittany she said, “You know you will go through a phase of kissing a bunch of frogs back to back before the right guy comes along.” Who knew that her pregnancy would not only make her mother but a prophet as well. LOL!

Is this a new trend? Has this ever happened to you or anyone you know? Share your crazy dating stories below in the comments.

UPDATE:

Aah here we are again my friends. Back on the trail of the scammer. I wish that you were about to read a positive update about this sad tale of a few dates gone wrong but boo boo this ain’t that! This fool is still keeping up the same old song and dance about him having the cash on him because the money will be in my account by 2 p.m. Blah blah blah. Since writing the original post a lightbulb to go off about how this thief had previously tested his ability to finesse me.

The night of the first date he hit me up saying, “I left my personal card at the office and I don’t have any cash on me. Download the Venmo app and I will send you $100. Take that money out at an ATM and that’s the cash I will use while we are out.”

Granted, I thought all of this extra ‘ish was a bit much but again I was trying to be open. I was unable to get the cash out of the ATM because I rarely use the card that the money was transferred to. So I just decided to swipe my card on the date since the $100 he sent over came in without any problems. We only spent $40 out of $100 and that following day he made sure to hit me up to return the $60 balance. It hit me that a) he was testing me to learn my level of kindness and b) laying the foundation to be able to finesse me when he would find it most beneficial. After really thinking about how he moves, I honestly feel that the account the $100 was sent from even that wasn’t his account.

After doing some research and the fact that this blog post is circulating amongst Southernites I have learned quite a bit about him and his alleged track record. Soon I put two and two together and came to the realization that he allegedly scams people on the regular. Supposedly he has skimmed and scammed his way throughout Baton Rouge to New Orleans to Los Angeles to New York. Word on the street is that no one is off limits. Line brothers have and can be scammed allegedly. Business associates have made claims of noticing that after he touches the money it always seemed to come up short. Even his longterm girlfriend, yes a girlfriend that he lied about not having, isn’t off limits either according to sources.

While I was in NYC this weekend celebrating my bff’s bday he would text me still promising that my money would be returned. While on my trip my bank froze my account/card because it received a fraudulent alert. I swallowed my pride, called this man, and told him to get the funds wired into my other account. “I promise I got you! Aaron is on his way to this event and I will give him $300 to put in your account. Don’t worry!” he said.

 

 

The remainder of the weekend came and went with no funds still! After learning about a possible girlfriend and the vital role that she may allegedly play in being his financial safety net, I decided to reach out to the direct source of where my funds would most likely come from if in fact he ever decided to clear his debt. Even if she reads it and doesn’t respond, I will appreciate the click through on her part to read ya girls blog post. Good looking out, sis! Every website visit counts. LOL.

In no way shape, form, or fashion am I continuing to update this post because I am bitter. Honestly the stories that I have heard have been so absurd and random that all one can really do is laugh. I am no psychiatrist but there has to be something said about the mental state of a person that has exploited the kindness of college friends, frat brothers, and business associates without giving a second thought to the damage that he leaves behind. If you are in fact reading this, yes YOU the scammer, stop! Just stop. You have done more than enough damage and have earned a lifetimes worth of bad juju screwing everyone over.

 

 

Business Inquiries: contact (at) themonalita.com