This is the unimaginable time that a wife/girlfriend foolishly agrees that her man gets to do whatever he wants outside of the relationship without fear of consequences. Seeing that we live in a day and age of ‘Netflix and Chill’ where not only do millennials believe this is the new idea of dating, it doesn’t surprise me at all that couples are granting one another to blatantly cheat. It’s the norm now for people to fall in love within a weeks time just by texting or FaceTime. We have lowered the bar on a number of standards when it comes to relationships.

Tonight I watched Toya Wright and her estranged husband Mickie “Memphtiz” Wright on a new Bravo TV series ‘Untying The Knot’. During the course of the show it came up that for 8 days out of the year Toya grants her husband Memphitz a pass to do whatever he wants. Yes, I know it sounds stupid of Toya to agree to this and may even hint to a bit of low self-esteem on her part.

When asked if Toya was granted the same yearly privileges, he scoffed at the idea and went on to spew his bullshit reason being that she is a “girl”. Trust me I know that you are thinking that he sounds like a 7th grade boy.

Just Say No!

For the life of me I can’t understand why a man would even make a life long commitment but would then need a yearly break to behave like a horny and careless college student. The idea of granting this is a sure-fire way to open up Pandora’s box to flood a relationship with damaging issues.

So often as women we agree to things out of the need of wanting to be perceived as the “understanding’ or “cool” girlfriend/wife not realizing what it will do to our self-esteem. If consistent monogamy and emotional loyalty is something that a man can’t honestly commit to he should save himself the fuss of a wedding, the emotional rollercoasters of the soon to be doomed marriage, and simply remain single. Someone such as Memphitz would never need to coerce his wife into agreeing to granting the hall pass if he had just made a more sound decision to remain single. It just doesn’t make any sense because it seems to be double the work on his part.

Relationships in today’s world don’t really require for people to be solid about their roles anymore. It seems that the generations before us were much more concrete about things that would and would not be allowed or even discussed as an option.

Get On The Same Page

Once the idea of a hall pass is mentioned that is a sign that something bigger is happening in the relationship. That “something bigger” trumps the need for a few free days a year to run amuck. Whatever the existing issue may be a couple should aggressively work towards getting on the same page. That could be rekindling the fire in the relationship and looking forward to having smooth sailing in the relationship going forward. Hell getting on the same page could also result in the couple coming to terms that each person has different wants and needs who then decide to move on.

Whatever the end result may be, swallowing one’s pride and totally forfeiting your standards to hold onto a person is never worth it. This can lead to resentment and nearly irreversible damage. Toya gave into Memphitz’s need for freedom and it still left them in the same place, broken. Some sacrifices do more harm than help.

-MonaLita💋

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